Connecting
I found this photobooth shot from my bachelorette party in June 2009. It’s crazy that I’ve almost been married for 5 years or that I love so far away from these beautiful women. We take turns visiting each other but the phone calls and any sort of snail mail just doesn’t seem to happen.
I don’t know why I have the hardest time making those small (yet meaningful) connections with those that I love.
My pal Kellyn and I always joke that the only people we call are our moms. And each other (obviously) since we happened to be chatting about it on the phone. But it’s not as often as I’d like it to be.
When life gets busy, people move, have kids + work crazy hours…how do you stay in touch with those you love?
A Consideration
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Comments (21)
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Wow moving so much must definitely be difficult. It was hard making friends here in Columbus when we first moved here in 2009. Because of twitter it definitely changed for the better in 2010. I STILL can have a hard time even seeing local friends though. Everyone is so busy all the time.
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Yeah, I guess the only person I call is my mom. =)
I tend to keep in touch with my friends through Facebook -there we exchange messages, chat, share jokes and even schedule meet ups. All hail Facebook! lol-
Facebook is a great way to keep up day-to-day too. I also love Instagram for seeing videos and photos of my friends’ kids.
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As much as this feels like cheating…that’s honestly one of the only reasons I keep facebook around. I have friends in different parts of the country and world that it’s hard to keep up with otherwise. It’s even hard for me to keep up with people who live really close to me! Facebook messages have become my new best friend with these things. With Facebook, I know a lot of the little day to day details because of what everyone’s posting, so when we’re continuing our huge chain of facebook messages, we can talk more about the deeper life stuff. The messages usually evolve to skype or coffee dates, which of course is even better.
I wish I could say I handwrite letters to people all over the world, but if I tried to do that, I’d stop communicating with people, so instead I use my resources to keep those who mean a lot to me close.
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Yes! Facebook is where most of my close friends and family are and so it’s great to get status updates and photos. A few of my friends have Instagram now too and I can see short videos and photo updates there too.
I want to be better about sending mini care packages in 2014. Letters feel dull to me :)
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It’s so hard! I had a close-knit group of friends in college, but once we graduated, life just moved us in completely different directions (across the country or even the globe). It’s always hard finding the time to have a full-blown phone chat, which could take hours out of our day, so I’ve made it work by sending little snippets of life over text – a short 5-second video or a memory that made me laugh or a story of something that happened recently that reminded me of them. Then, when we do have that phone chat, it doesn’t feel like it’s been months since we last talked.
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I wish my friends texted more but since most of them are new mamas…I never want to bug them. Phone calls aren’t my thing and Skype can take SO long with like 6 women haha.
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This is a topic that’s pretty close to my heart. A lot of of my closest friends and family live on the other side of the country and I haven’t lived in the same place as many of them for up to 10 years, in some cases. I never used to be the one who was known for keeping in touch, but the longer I stay away, the more I realize how important old friends can be and the harder I’ve tried. It’s really hard to get on the phone, so I try to not worry about making time to make too many phone calls. Two big things that have worked really well for me are:
1. I have a WhatsApp/GroupMe account with my best girl friends from high school and college and we chat on and off throughout the week. All of us are all on our phones all day anyway, so no one can really say “I’m too busy to do this”. It’s amazing how close you can feel with a group of people through group chatting and bantering.
2. Every so often when I’m thinking of a friend, I’ll send them an email, a quick text, or IM them online just to say hello. If there’s time, we’ll delve into a long conversation, otherwise, it’s a quick catch up. I’ve tried to embrace technology and use it to my advantage to feel closer to people.
In the end, you have to get creative with the ways you keep in touch! And it doesn’t have to be long phone calls or hand written letters—in my opinion, small gestures go a long way.
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I need to check out that app! It sounds so fun. I think a part of my problem is that everyone can seem so busy and I either get a) stubborn or b) hurt feelings. Both aren’t productive or great. Loved your advice Rashi!
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I try to catch up with my friends that are away via Facetime or Google Hangout now. It’s actually really fun! We do it once a month and catch on the phone every other week.
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It is so difficult. That’s so true, life simply goes on. I know that the friendships that are too last, will last. Even if you communicate regularly or not. But Skype and phone are the two ones i use!
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Yes you’re right – and I still have friends that I’ll always be friends with no matter how often we chat.
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I think social media makes people feel connected to their friends since they already know the gist of what’s going on in their life by reading status updates. I used to have Facebook about four years ago and it got to the point where anytime I would physically run into a friend, we didn’t really have much to talk about because we already knew what the other had been up to. Since then, I’ve gotten rid of Facebook and now I feel more inspired to reach out to others since I am genuinely clueless about how they’re doing. Social media today is more like social MEdia – it’s less about connecting with others and more about me, me, me!
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I unfriended about 800 people last year because of that same reason! I didn’t want to see them sometime in public and know weird things about them haha!
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I haven’t lived near my best friends since high school ended. Through college, it seemed easy to stay in touch because we would call in-between classes (or just chat online DURING class). A few years out of school, we are all scattered across the country now and sometimes it is difficult to stay in touch as much as we would like.
I think it’s important to find the best way to communicate to people individually instead of overall. I Gchat with some friends daily but we never talk on the phone, yet there are my go-to friends when I have a few minutes for a phone call. And, unsurprisingly, there have been some arguments over the past few (er almost 10) years about being “neglected”.
As strange as it seems to write, communicating about communicating, so you can make that time, seems to be the key.
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Yeah I’ve felt the same way – college it was easier to connect with high school friends. But after college, people start families and careers and it seems to be less and less. I text with my best friend in Chicago and occasionally talk on the phone with another in Philly. I sometimes get jealous and wish my friends were on Twitter or blogging so I could keep up with more of their life. They have it easy with me ;)
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Kellyn
I luv u always 4 eva
lets text more!!!!!!
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Hannah
I have such an incredibly hard time being the type of person who reaches out and connects with people. Blogging is clearly the wrong medium for me. lol (or the right one! I’m still deciding.)
After relocating from Vegas to Northern Virginia with my now husband in 2011 we have moved once every 6 months to a year because of jobs and leases ending. We’ve just never put the effort into trying to make friendships because we know we’ll be gone by the time the calendar hits day 365. Thankfully I have made some really good friends through blogging. Some local, some not. I still have 3 really good friends from before the move who are now spread out across the country as well. We text or call each other once every couple months. Sames goes for my dad. He raised a couple of lone wolves, for sure.
I make a lot of excuses for not being the one to reach out but I’m hoping I can overcome some personal obstacles next year after some big life stuff finally happens. I wish I had tips of my own to share but I’m in the same boat. I’m interested to see what others share!
xoxohannah
http://www.xoxohannah.com