Anyone know how to fix Bitchy Resting Face? I’ve had it my whole life. I remember being a kid and my mom standing behind the kitchen counter while preparing dinner and saying, “You know you look angry right now, right? You really need to work on communicating with your facial expressions.”

The other day I saw a woman in public and she looks so darn pleasant. I was jealous.

*Outtake of me from a photoshoot yesterday. I look irritable. But I wasn’t. What the eff?

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Comments (36)

  • OMG I have the same problem! Only I tend to look just plain miserable, not so much angry. My childhood my Mom would say, “Get that look off your face!” if we were out in public and I was always like “Wha????!?!?”

    I feel you. Let me know if you figure anything out.

    • I can look miserable too haha. Lately I’ve just tried to keep my eyes from being less “squinty” and my eyebrows from furrowing. And I’m aiming at more of a neutral mouth vs frown. LOL.

  • I used to have the same issue. People would come up and ask what I was mad about. I was always confused – “I’m not mad about anything, why would you ask that?!” – and then eventually truly annoyed – “BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP THINKING I’M MAD, THAT’S WHAT!”

    I made a conscious effort to make myself smile more. It eventually overrode my “default” face. I’m sure if you catch me when I’m not in public, I still look the way I used to – but in public I keep my default “smile” face on and I haven’t gotten the “you look mad” comment in years.

    • Do you ever feel like you look goofy smiling? Sometimes it feels so unnatural (gosh I sound like a robot) that I feel awkward haha.

  • If you come up with a solution, let me know…because ditto!

    • So far I’ve learned to affirm people verbally, use eye contact and just be more aware of our faces. LOL! Such a crazy problem we have.

  • *Sigh* I have the same problem. I’ve learned over the years to try to make eye contact and smile at people as much as possible, but I’m really jealous of people who can look friendly and pleasant naturally :-/.

    • Good call re: eye contact. I do think I’ve learned to be defensive at places like the airport, mall, etc. I don’t like talking to people and making small talk so I’ve found that if I look like a bitch – I don’t get approached.

  • My poor sister has this too…she even squints a little because she refuses to wear glasses, so there are so many times where I start getting defensive because it looks like she thinks I’m saying the most idiotic things, when really she’s just listening and trying to focus.

    She’s had to start interjecting more affirmative words while talking and consciously try to smile while listening. But her verbal affirmations seem to calm everyone down when they think she’s annoyed at them.

    • I do think my contacts make me squint too. Also I have bad allergies and so I’m always on the verge of sneezing. These things don’t help at all.

      I’m going to need to try the verbal affirmation thing…

  • Good question. I do not have the BRF problem -at least, no one told me that yet. But now I’m worried…
    Anyway, your profile photo on sidebar looks just too adorable!!!! So, at least your BRF face is not a thing that happens all the time. :)

    • Thank you :) If I try – I can look pretty pleasant. And I bet you don’t have BRF. People tell you if you do…

  • Oh my goodness YES!! I get so annoyed when people ask “Is everything OK? You look angry.” And I just want to be like “THIS IS JUST HOW MY FACE LOOKS!” Sigh. Glad I’m not the only one!

  • this is a really funny post, but it’s so true! A couple of friends have told me that when they first met me I had the BRF, I think you have to be more aware of your face at all times and try to feel the expression you are making.

    • My husband thought I hated him when we first met! oops. I had a huge crush on him. It might just be more of a defense mechanism too…

  • I’ve got one, all right, and it’s hereditary! My mother and sister have it too, big time. The other day a coworker passed me driving on the road and I didn’t notice. Later he mentioned it and asked, “What were you so mad about?”

    • My aunts both commented below and it sounds like it’s hereditary for me as well :) I often hear, “Are you pissed?” from random people haha

  • This cracks me up. I wrote a whole post on this/being introverted. I wish I knew how to fix it.

    • While I understand that we shouldn’t smile just because…I do think it pushes people away. I’ll let you know if I find any tips.

  • I think you come by it naturally. It is a Jacoby “thing” if I’m not mistaking. I just try to keep the smallest smile on my face. I probably look like a psycho then but at least not an angry psycho.

  • Sorry. You do come by it naturally. Just keep a small smile on your face…makes peoe wonder what you’re thinking about.

  • And by Botox meant to relax facial muscles. You certainly don’t need it for wrinkles!

  • I’m glad I am not the only person with this problem! Let me know if you find a cure! haha

  • I definitely am the same! Wishing I looked more approachable!

    xo, Juliette Laura

  • I have something similar – I always look like I’m either sleepy or bored. Off topic- what lipstick are you wearing in this picture? Is it the Nars matte stick you wrote about?

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