I’ll get straight to the point. I’ve been having a hard time lately. I’ve been struggling with a few things and while I have no real reason to be complaining…I like to be real. I become fearful of being someone on the Internet that only pushes forth a shallow/fluffy life. So here’s my reflection. The good and the bad.

I’m starting month #8 as a self-employed designer and reality just caught up with me. “Holy crap. What if I just stop making money? I don’t know enough. I’m not good enough.” That’s been running through my mind lately. Money has been consistently coming in but some projects are just feeling stuck and I’m still figuring out how to identify the best fit when it comes to booking clients. I know this is all natural but it hit hard last month.

For the first time in my life, I truly want to be a mom. That stuff makes me emotional! I just spent the past weekend around my best friend and her family of four. I had so much fun playing with her kids and I really hate that I don’t live closer. For the first time (EVER) I felt like I could do that. Someday.

You guys. Too much shopping. I spent way. too. much. money last month. I’m on a spending freeze this month. Every time I think about shopping now, I try to identify what emotion or stressor I’m trying to push off.

I know I’m blessed. I know I need to just get out of the rut. I know, I know, I know. I just couldn’t blog about my (awesome) nail polish color when I was feeling so blah-dee-blah. I’ll be back to blogging on Monday, March 18th. Catch you on the flip side. 

March 6, 2013